Well I might as well tell you the story behind my blogs name...
A few weeks ago I couldn't sleep, the whole brain not stopping thing always causes problems with that, so I grabbed my laptop and just started writing. "Tonight I'll Say It" was the result. It's a pretty rough poem/declaration and probably could use a couple of edits but for being written at 2am it isn't so bad. So enjoy and let me know what you think!
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I loved you the first moment our eyes met. You’ll say you don’t believe it, just like you always do. But I’ll still tell you that you changed me in that moment. That you’ve had me since that day. I’ll tell you that I’m yours. That I always was. And that I always will be.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I remember every day. You’ll say that can’t be true. I’ll tell you that I remember every touch. Every laugh. Every way you changed my life. I’ll say it only took a smile. That you changed it with one word. That your eyes inspired me. That your presence made me complete. I’ll tell you that you have my soul. That you didn’t even have to steal it because I gave it up willingly. That you were meant to have it. That it was made to be in your hands.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I want to find a new word for love. I’ll tell you that the word is used too much and that what I feel isn’t something that happens every day or even to everyone. I’ll tell you that you deserve more than a word like that. But since I have nothing else, I’ll tell you that I love you. That I always will. Forever. I’ll tell you that even that doesn’t seem long enough. You’ll say you love me too. I’ll say I know.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I’m sorry. You’ll say I don’t have to be. But I’m telling you that I am. Sorry for breaking such a beautiful gift. Sorry for every moment I ruined. Sorry for every moment you’ve ever hurt. Tell you I would do anything to take that pain. Tell you that I’d give anything to keep you from the ache. I didn’t do my best. I’ll tell you I failed. Failed you. Failed us.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that you’re beautiful. That your smile lights up my soul. That your eyes make me melt. That your hands are what lead me. That your arms keep me safe. That your voice is what makes my heart beat faster. You’ll tell me I’m wrong. You’ll try and say that you’re nothing special. But I’ll tell you that there’s more to your beauty. That your heart is so big. That your soul saved my life. I’ll tell you that you’re my hero.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I’ll never regret us. That I’m glad it was you. I’ll say that every day was a blessing. I’ll say you were a gift. A gift I didn’t deserve. You’ll say that you’re not. But I’ll say that you were my best friend. My favorite person in the world. I’ll say you were wonderful. That you got me through. That you saved me.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that this is the end. The end of a beautiful journey. I’ll say that I don’t want it be like this. You’ll tell me that I’m being silly. I’ll say that you know it’s the only way. That maybe we aren’t supposed to be this lucky. That maybe it’s not right for this world. I’ll tell you I wish it was. I’ll tell you I’d fight if there was a chance. I’ll ask you for that chance. You’ll say we can go on like this. I’ll know that we can’t.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you this isn’t the first time I’ve said these words. I’ve whispered them into your ear as you lay sleeping beside me. Your only response was your breath softly warming my skin. I’ve screamed them into the dark as you’ve walked away. My pleas lost in the anger of those late nights. I’ve let them tumble out along with the tears streaming down my cheeks. But all was lost in those moments of salty defeat. I’ll tell you that I’ve tried to think of another way. I’ll tell you that I’m out of ideas. That I’m out of strength. That I’m out of my mind. You’ll tell me that I am.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I’ll still think of you. That I’ll whisper your name late at night. That I’ll hope my words will sweeten your dreams. Where ever you may be. I’ll say that my prayers will always include you. I’ll tell you that when I look at the stars my wish will always be for you. I’ll tell you to keep my heart. That every piece of it is yours. I’ll tell you that my soul has always belonged to you. That my smile will never be quite the same. That my eyes will lose their luster. That I was my best when I was yours. You’ll tell me that’s not true. But I’ll know that it is.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I believe Heaven has a place for us. You’ll tell me Heaven doesn’t want you. That you’re no good. I’ll tell that you’re more than good. That you’re the best there is. And that I’ll be there waiting. Waiting for you to bring my soul back to me. Waiting for yours.
Tonight I’ll say it.
And tonight you’ll let me.
A few weeks ago I couldn't sleep, the whole brain not stopping thing always causes problems with that, so I grabbed my laptop and just started writing. "Tonight I'll Say It" was the result. It's a pretty rough poem/declaration and probably could use a couple of edits but for being written at 2am it isn't so bad. So enjoy and let me know what you think!
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I loved you the first moment our eyes met. You’ll say you don’t believe it, just like you always do. But I’ll still tell you that you changed me in that moment. That you’ve had me since that day. I’ll tell you that I’m yours. That I always was. And that I always will be.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I remember every day. You’ll say that can’t be true. I’ll tell you that I remember every touch. Every laugh. Every way you changed my life. I’ll say it only took a smile. That you changed it with one word. That your eyes inspired me. That your presence made me complete. I’ll tell you that you have my soul. That you didn’t even have to steal it because I gave it up willingly. That you were meant to have it. That it was made to be in your hands.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I want to find a new word for love. I’ll tell you that the word is used too much and that what I feel isn’t something that happens every day or even to everyone. I’ll tell you that you deserve more than a word like that. But since I have nothing else, I’ll tell you that I love you. That I always will. Forever. I’ll tell you that even that doesn’t seem long enough. You’ll say you love me too. I’ll say I know.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I’m sorry. You’ll say I don’t have to be. But I’m telling you that I am. Sorry for breaking such a beautiful gift. Sorry for every moment I ruined. Sorry for every moment you’ve ever hurt. Tell you I would do anything to take that pain. Tell you that I’d give anything to keep you from the ache. I didn’t do my best. I’ll tell you I failed. Failed you. Failed us.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that you’re beautiful. That your smile lights up my soul. That your eyes make me melt. That your hands are what lead me. That your arms keep me safe. That your voice is what makes my heart beat faster. You’ll tell me I’m wrong. You’ll try and say that you’re nothing special. But I’ll tell you that there’s more to your beauty. That your heart is so big. That your soul saved my life. I’ll tell you that you’re my hero.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I’ll never regret us. That I’m glad it was you. I’ll say that every day was a blessing. I’ll say you were a gift. A gift I didn’t deserve. You’ll say that you’re not. But I’ll say that you were my best friend. My favorite person in the world. I’ll say you were wonderful. That you got me through. That you saved me.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that this is the end. The end of a beautiful journey. I’ll say that I don’t want it be like this. You’ll tell me that I’m being silly. I’ll say that you know it’s the only way. That maybe we aren’t supposed to be this lucky. That maybe it’s not right for this world. I’ll tell you I wish it was. I’ll tell you I’d fight if there was a chance. I’ll ask you for that chance. You’ll say we can go on like this. I’ll know that we can’t.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you this isn’t the first time I’ve said these words. I’ve whispered them into your ear as you lay sleeping beside me. Your only response was your breath softly warming my skin. I’ve screamed them into the dark as you’ve walked away. My pleas lost in the anger of those late nights. I’ve let them tumble out along with the tears streaming down my cheeks. But all was lost in those moments of salty defeat. I’ll tell you that I’ve tried to think of another way. I’ll tell you that I’m out of ideas. That I’m out of strength. That I’m out of my mind. You’ll tell me that I am.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I’ll still think of you. That I’ll whisper your name late at night. That I’ll hope my words will sweeten your dreams. Where ever you may be. I’ll say that my prayers will always include you. I’ll tell you that when I look at the stars my wish will always be for you. I’ll tell you to keep my heart. That every piece of it is yours. I’ll tell you that my soul has always belonged to you. That my smile will never be quite the same. That my eyes will lose their luster. That I was my best when I was yours. You’ll tell me that’s not true. But I’ll know that it is.
Tonight I’ll say it.
I’ll tell you that I believe Heaven has a place for us. You’ll tell me Heaven doesn’t want you. That you’re no good. I’ll tell that you’re more than good. That you’re the best there is. And that I’ll be there waiting. Waiting for you to bring my soul back to me. Waiting for yours.
Tonight I’ll say it.
And tonight you’ll let me.
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